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Successful Communication - The True Secret For Fulfillment And Online Dating
Why are certain persons a lot more successful than others in their personal lives and in their professional atmosphere?
The root cause of the problem is communication or to be more exact: effective communication. It is truly surprising that a lot of communication is going well the majority of the time. However, if a communication problem happens, the question is: what went wrong?
This usually remains an unanswered question. There are many books, articles and websites devoted to the problems of communication.
Wouldn't it be extremely useful to have a simple formula of effective communication which can be used in all circumstances? I believe the following formula could be helpful:
Effective Communication, equals self interest plus the interest of others and minus disturbing factors.
Let's consider the three elements of this formula.
-Self Interest
When people communicate, self interest is probably the main cause for communication.
The most important problem in communication is probably asymmetry. The two parties in question are having completely different agendas and totally different interests which is further complicated by asymmetries of, information, power and authority.
For this reason, negotiation skills and tactics have become an extremely important trait of modern civilization. This civilizing process is generally a shift from a "command and control" communication culture to a "negotiating and persuasion" culture.
-Interest of Others
The capability to listen, to get and give feedback, to manage anger ("anger management"), conflict resolution, stress control, etc., have been discussed in great lengths by many authors, scholars, management trainers, and so on.
How can one discover the interests of others? This requires a proactive approach from both parties. Two strategies may be helpful.
The first strategy is called the PAIR approval strategy: Placate (listen, empathize, react with concern); Attend (to the other); Investigate (circumstances and details of issue); Resolve (decide on course of action).
The second strategy is called the five-step method: listen, respond, decide on action, take action and follow up.
-Disturbing Factors
The third part of effective communication is probably the most difficult one: how to get rid of disturbing factors or how to overcome communication barriers.
There are basically six types of barriers between individuals communicating with one another: differences in perception, incorrect filtering, language barriers, poor listening, differing emotional states, and differing backgrounds.
In order to overcome these barriers, one should be willing to avoid selective perception, condense communications to the bare essentials, use specific and accurate words possible, always verify your interpretation of what is been said, be conscious of the feelings that arise in yourself and in others as you communicate, and attempt to control them.
As soon as you've mastered effective communication, apply it to your dating life.
Effective communication and helpful tips on how to spot a player can help you handle unnecessary dating stress. For example, if you're asking yourself, "is he a player?" and have proven that he is a player use the suggestions from above to successfully handle the situation.
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